she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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