she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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