Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
The beer is more important than you right now.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
