Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize