Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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