i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
