It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize