he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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