dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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