Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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