As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
