we're blogging at a bar
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
