I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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