i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
