I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
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I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
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WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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