I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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