Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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