There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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