it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
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As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
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You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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