I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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