i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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