He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
