I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize