My friends, they love my intelligence
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
