Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
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I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
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Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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