Umm I'm too high to move.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
