four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
