Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
