Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
