He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
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you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
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I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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