Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
