I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
