I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
