So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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