when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
