Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
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Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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