I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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