Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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