I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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