Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
