went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
