i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
