I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize