you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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