I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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