...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
