The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
