Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
