Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
