Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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