watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
this is an emotional support booty call
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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