Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize