she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize