People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
