Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Text me some of your sweat
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
