I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I pour the whiskey from now on
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
