Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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