lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
