thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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